Forty is a four-letter word

Another opening, another show

2006-12-09T00:47:00.000-05:00

It's late - I just got back from our after show dinner at Bennigan's - so I'm counting this as a Friday post.

Wow. I'm truly amazed at how well our opening night went. The seats were full and people were laughing in all the right places (even when the Cratchit's Christmas chicken prop started squawking in the middle of the street scene and the butcher had to whack at it to stop the noise - we all managed to keep straight faces somehow!).

Afterwards, we mingled while greeting & thanking the audience members for attending. I walked up to one couple with two small boys and asked if they had fun. The one little guy was just speechless. After a little prodding by his dad, he managed to whisper "I really liked it." The look in his eyes was one of disbelief that someone he'd just seen onstage was actually talking to him. It was too sweet!

I really should go to bed, or I'll be dragging through both shows tomorrow. How can I when I'm still buzzin'?

Allow me to brag a little

2006-12-07T23:56:00.000-05:00

Tonight was our last rehearsal before opening night. It was chaotic, but fun. The best part? At the end when the director sat us down for some notes & comments, he said "If everyone else had been as good as the sock ladies tonight, the play would be great!" I had to do a happy sock lady dance after that. :D

Still, it makes me wonder about tomorrow night. Eeeek!

Bah, bug & hum!

2006-12-06T15:16:00.000-05:00

Warning: If you're looking for a happy post, stop reading now:

This nasty congestion is just hanging on and I feel so tired. Mentally & physically. This is NOT a good week for illness, body. Friday is opening night, and my voice is just hanging in there. It's a good thing I don't have any solos or we'd be screwed. Can I crawl back under the covers until then?

My house looks like Scrooge lives here. There is not one decoration to be found. The boys keep asking me when we're getting our tree, and it's the last thing on my mind. The thought of unpacking all that stuff is just too exhausting. I think it started with DH saying that he wouldn't be hanging outside lights this year. Seeing everyone else's lights and then driving up to a dark house is depressing me for some reason. I realize that it should be enough to walk/drive around and enjoy the neighbors' work, but it's not.

I think I'm going to take some Sudafed. Maybe it'll clear my head in more ways than one.

Let's get the memes out of the way, shall we?

2006-12-05T15:46:00.000-05:00

Three hours of play rehearsal last night on top of what appears to be a developing cold, and you have my entry for today. The one-word meme:

1. Yourself: Tired

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): Helpful

3. Your hair: Unwashed

4. Your mother: Seventy

5. Your father: Absent

6. Your favorite item: Slippers

7. Your dream last night: None

8. Your favorite drink: Tea

9. Your dream car: Volvo

10. The room you are in: Living

11. Your ex: What?

12. Your fear: Illness

13. What you want to be in 10 years? Unknown

14. Who you hung out with last night? Cast

15. What You’re Not? Patient

16. Muffins: Blueberry

17. One of your wish list items: Books

18. Time: Wasting

19. The last thing you did: This

20. What you are wearing: Jeans

21. Your favorite weather: Crisp

22. Your favorite book: Engrossing

23. The last thing you ate: Oreo

24. Your life: Crazy

25. Your mood: Irritable

26. Your best friend: Janice

27. What are you thinking about right now?: Dinner

28. Your car: Messy

29. What are you doing at the moment?: This

30. Your summer: Boring

31. Your relationship status: Married

32. What is on your TV?: Wii

33. What is the weather like?: Cool

34. When is the last time you laughed?: Yesterday

Taking the easy way out

2006-12-04T10:05:00.000-05:00

It's a busy day here. Shipping out items to my eBay bidders. I sold $286 of stamp stuff over the last week. Woooo! Unfortunately, it will all be going to bills. Boooooo!

Our first costume rehearsal is tonight, so I also have to get a few more things for both of my outfits. I swear, my next play will NOT be a period piece - it's too expensive! LOL!

I know some of you have seen this at MR, but it's all I've got today. Forgive me? :D

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate, if it's cold outside. Eggnog, if it's spiked.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? When Santa "existed," he wrapped. Only in special Santa wrap that was hidden from prying little eyes.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White on tree, color on the house

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No

5. When do you put your decorations up? We used to put them up the day after Thanksgiving, but it's usually around the beginning of Dec. now. I'm getting lazier. (As of today, Dec. 4, there is still nothing up in or on my house...)

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Honeybaked (or similar) ham. I loooove the crunchy coating!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Lying in bed at night and watching the big Christmas bulbs outside cast light & shadows on my bedspread.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I really don't remember. I do remember sneaking around looking for my gifts. It got so bad, my mom had to hide them at the neighbor's house!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We let the boys open on small gift that night.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Lights first, followed by some muttering, then ornaments & the star. It's mostly made up of the ones the kids have made or picked out each year with some red glass balls thrown in to break it up.

11. Snow! I wish, but not possible in FL. The only time I've ever had snow at Christmas was when we lived in Ohio for two years. It snowed the first year we were there.

12. Can you ice skate? Yes, but it's been a while.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? To remember that it's not about the sales & hoopla.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Don't really have a special one. I'll eat pretty much any thing labeled "dessert."

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Walking/driving around to see all the Christmas lights & displays.

17. What tops your tree? A lit star

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I really like giving - one of my favorite things is to get names from the Foster Angel tree at the boys' schools and buy for them. It's a lot of fun!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Traditional: Silent Night; Not so: Cool Yule by Louis Armstrong

20. Candy Canes? In my hot chocolate, sometimes on my tree. I like the non-traditional chocolate-mint types. Yumm!

Here's today's recipe

2006-12-03T13:33:00.001-05:00

Everyone loves chocolate chip cookies, right? Thanks to Food Network and their 12 Days of Cookies:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon fine salt
1 (12-ounce) bag semisweet chocolate chips, or chunks

Evenly position 2 racks in the middle of the oven and preheat to 375 degrees F, (on convection setting if you have it.)

Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or silicon sheets. (If you only have 1 baking sheet, let it cool completely between batches.)

Put the butter in a microwave safe bowl, cover and microwave on medium power until melted. (Alternatively melt in a small saucepan.) Cool slightly. Whisk the sugars, eggs, butter and vanilla in a large bowl until smooth.

Whisk the flour, baking soda and salt in another bowl. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients with a wooden spoon; take care not to over mix. Stir in the chocolate chips or chunks.

Scoop heaping tablespoons of the dough onto the prepared pans. Wet hands slightly and roll the dough into balls. Space the cookies about 2-inches apart on the pans. Bake, until golden, but still soft in the center, about 12 to 16 minutes, depending on how chewy or crunchy you like your cookies.

Transfer hot cookies with a spatula to a rack to cool. Serve. Store cookies in a tightly sealed container for up to 5 days. Makes 30 cookies.

For a Rocky Road Bar:

Lightly butter a 9 by 13-inch baking pan. Make the batter as per cookie recipe and fold in 1 cup chopped walnuts along with the chocolate chips. Spread batter in prepared pan. Bake until the edges are light brown and the batter sets, about 45 minutes.

Cool slightly and cover surface with 4 cups marshmallows and 1 cup chocolate chips. Broil at least 8 inches from the heat until marshmallows turn golden brown, about 2 minutes. (Keep an eye on the marshmallows, and turn the pan frequently--they go from golden to char in a wink.) Cool, cut and serve.

Cookies & whatnot

2006-12-03T13:33:00.000-05:00

Here's a link from Food Network: 12 Days of Cookies. I've been on their list for the last three years and have picked up some pretty good recipes. Just sign up and they deliver them right to your inbox!

In other boring news: After much searching & gnashing of teeth by the youth in the household, we were able to get our hands on a Nintendo Wii system this morning. Circuit City & Toys R Us had them in their circulars, so with the two-pronged attack - DH to TRU and myself & the eldest in line at CC. DH came up the winner. I've already bowled, played tennis & baseball. It's pretty cool because of the wireless capability and movement that's required. No more couch potatoes! The kids are playing Rayman Raving Rabbids. (Don't ask)

Looks like my Christmas shopping is done. Wooo-hooo!

It's almost here!

2006-12-02T18:29:00.000-05:00

Today was load-in day for the play, which opens Friday night. We brought in the pieces and built most of the sets. Lots of drilling (like nails on a chalkboard for me - ick!), painting, sawing, more painting, etc. For FIVE straight hours. I still look somewhat like PigPen because of all the brown paint that we had to use for the backdrop. And guess who cleaned the rollers & brushes...

Only four rehearsals left. Our first off-book rehearsal was last Thurs. night. Most of it was good, but the guy who plays young Scrooge/Scrooge's nephew kept asking for his line. Oy. We've only been rehearsing since... late October. Sigh. I hope he miraculously gets it by Friday.

Time to pull something together for dinner. Cheesesteaks, I think.

On the first day of DecPloPoO, MR gave to meeee...

2006-12-01T14:54:00.000-05:00

Day 1: Here it is. Let's see if I'm disciplined enough to keep up with this. Although, looking at my track record (last post being sometime in August), the odds are not in my favor.

Nothing is certain except death & taxes

2006-08-29T18:09:00.000-04:00

As of 5 p.m., it looks like our area is just west of the dreaded cone of uncertainty. I see a little yellow, which means we'll probably see some major rain, but the kids are disappointed because it looks as though it won't be enough to keep them out of school Thurs./Fri. Muwaahahahahaha! However, Mother Nature might have other plans.

I found these today, thanks to a heads-up by a friend. She knew of my quest to find a decent boot for winter and called me this afternoon - I was there in less than 10 minutes! They're a soft, suede-like fabric and feel terrific. Move over, Nancy Sinatra...

Please don't ask me who she is, unless you want to make me feel even older.

Where did I put those damn sandbags....

2006-08-27T12:39:00.000-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/interactive/weather/0608/maps.path.td5/frameset.exclude.html

It appears that Hurricane Ernesto is coming for a visit. And if they thought the real estate market in Florida was slow before....

I pray that it somehow loses steam before hitting the gulf, and any of us.

Now THIS is a soundtrack!

2006-08-24T17:58:00.000-04:00

I love Zach Braff and "Scrubs". The TV viewing in this house hasn't been the same without him during the summer. (I did see that Comedy Central will be showing episodes soon. Wooo!) But I really want him to keep making movies because of the music he pulls together (of course, he's a great actor, too). He really has a knack for finding just the right artists and songs. I'd love to be on the receiving end of some of his personal compilations. He must have a fantastic music library.

Snakes! Why'd it have to be snakes?

2006-08-09T11:20:00.000-04:00

Talk about creating a buzz. Or would that, more appropriately, be a hissssss?

Phone rings on Sunday afternoon. DH answers it, listens for a bit, and starts laughing. I'm thinking "Who is making him laugh and WHAT are they saying??" He hangs up and tells me that he just got a personal call from Samuel L. Jackson.

This guy. Right. Uh-uh.

If you go here, you can send your very own personalized SLJ message to any one of your friends (or enemies, just don't use YOUR name at the prompt ;-) ), by phone or email. I'm not sure how it would work if it went to an answering machine, so we've been sending ours by email. However, getting the message by phone was pretty funny.

A word of warning - if you value your friendships and want to avoid embarrassing them, make sure they know who SLJ is and "Snakes on a Plane" is just a movie, or you might be answering questions from the police.

DH sent this to a friend Monday. I asked him later that night if B. had received it. He said that he had and here's what happened. B. sent it along to his brothers and some other people. One of those was a 91 year old neighbor who has known B. for years. Well, this poor guy was so scared that "this man knew my name and your name, too, B. He said he was going to come looking for me!", he called his son, who called the police. The story ends here, because DH had to cut his conversation short with our friend.

Was it bad that I started to laugh after DH told me this?

Yeah, probably.

Good Stuff

2006-08-04T12:31:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the PajamaMama for this cool idea (by way of Suze).

Like her, I don't get around as much as I should to those whose blogs I enjoy. But I'm going to give it my darndest.

Let's get busy, ya'll! :)

Wait for it...

2006-08-04T07:42:00.000-04:00

Listen.

You hear that?

*pause*

I believe it's the faint sound of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". The boys have begun another 180 days of incarceration, uh, education in our school system. Incarceration... education: depends on whom you ask in this house. All I know is that I can actually hear myself think for the first time in almost 3 months.

The things I'm thinking today:

I'm tired,
I need to go to the gym,
the dog needs a bath (giving her a bath could count as a workout in my book since she's a 50-lb. squirmer),
I'm seeing tumbleweeds in the hall so it must be time to vacuum,
the laundry is falling off the back of the couch, so it's time to put it away,
I have to shop for teacher lists,
No food in the house, so it must be time to go grocery shopping,
and
I'm tired.

Hearing oneself think is highly overrated.

Happy Hump Day!

2006-07-19T12:55:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday, but what does that mean for someone who works from home? The seven days all run together. Weekends are a figment of my imagination. I guess the upside is that I don't dread Mondays the way I used to when I worked outside the home.

Ah yes, work. I'm still a proofreader for my neighbor's company. It will be a year in September since I left the library and started working from home. The grass is always greener, right?

Proofreading involves finding errors and correcting them. So, if my job is all about finding errors, why do I get so pissed off when I find them? I really don't have an issue with errors. Hey, we're all human. My issue is with the same people who make the SAME errors, time & time again. That's when I get testy. I suppose I'm expecting people to LEARN from their mistakes, when they're just thinking "Eh, someone will fix it." Grumble....

But where else can I make a good hourly wage and still be able to wear my well-worn, purple felted Land's End mules? Not at the library. So, I need to remember to count myself among the fortunate ones whenever I start to feel that irritated nerve rear its ugly head. Too bad there's not some type of surgery to remove it.

"Bring me the monkey, I need to shoot something!"

2006-07-17T14:13:00.000-04:00

Because if there's no monkey available, the only thing left is the dog (at least before I get to the children whom inhabit this house - and that's what I'm trying to avoid here.)

The boys have only been awake for four and a half hours, and have managed to find my last nerve and go at it with something akin to 40-grit sandpaper. Why must siblings fight over the stupidest things? Why must a 14 year old behave like a 7 year old? Why must the 11 yo, in turn, behave like a 5 yo? Why must I repeat my every request only to do it again? Why, why, a thousand times why?? My enquiring mind wants to know, but right now, I don't think I can handle the truth.

Working from home is also not adding to the domestic peace for which I search. One computer + plus three humans = power struggle. No sooner do I sit down when I hear, "When can I get on?" "He's been on the computer already!" Blah, blah, blah. Never mind that my usage is usually (Hi, MT-ers!) for bringing money into this house. Some days, I want to throw the whole kit and kaboodle out into the trash. Same with the TV.

I can, with all honesty, say that when I look back on this after the kids have left the nest, I will NOT miss this.

For Susie Q...

2006-07-15T15:22:00.000-04:00

Let's see if she was telling the truth the other night on Gabbly when she said that she checks my blog every day. I think she was just trying to get me to do Blogathon. Hell woman, I can't manage to post something once every other month and that involves posting something every thirty minutes for 2 hours. LOL!

Not much new is happening in my life. School will be starting again Aug. 3, and no matter how many times I think that this will be "the summer" for fun and having good times with my kids, I always let myself down. They bicker and fight, we argue, I yell, they watch TV, it's hot, they eat, I get house-bound. Repeat. We haven't done anything resembling a vacation this year. DH & J. did go to Wisconsin for a few days to visit my MIL. But I really need a break. Something. ANYthing.

DH came home Thurs. to say that they'd finally agreed to let him out of the management position that he so desperately hated for the past few years. He's been looking at various places for other work because of how stressful this situation was for him. Now, he'll be out of management, but with that comes less money. Almost $6K less. They'll bring it down throughout the year until he's at the correct level for his new position. I'm feeling more stress because I handle the financial end and all I can see is "Oh shit...." in our future. We are by no means in the hole, but I still worry.

I'm sure we can make it work, but I warned him that if he started complaining about this new "creative" job, he was going to have to answer to me!

Thanks Jennie

2006-05-20T08:56:00.000-04:00

For giving me something to put in this space:

I SAID: I wouldn't be like my parents.
I WANT: To be happy.
I WISH: That I had more patience.
I HATE: The bickering.
I MISS: My freedom.
I FEAR: Dying before I see my kids grow up.
I HEAR: Everything in public spaces.
I WONDER: What happened to my sense of adventure.
I REGRET: Not finishing college.
I AM NOT: Carefree.
I DANCE: When no one is around.
I SING: In my car.
I CRY: Because I am sad and don't know why.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: A wet rag.
I MADE: My bed.
I WRITE: Infrequently.
I CONFUSE: My husband and kids.
I NEED: Time alone away from home.
I SHOULD: Get over my fear on inverted roller coasters.
I START: Dreading summer vacation before the kids are out of school.
I FINISH: Very few things.
I TAG: Whenever I feel like it.

Shhhh. It's a secret.

2006-04-27T17:17:00.000-04:00

E. is going on his 8th grade field trip to Busch*Gardens tomorrow with DH as his group chaperone. Yeah, it's HIS turn to keep a hoard of teen-aged kids in control. But he loves roller coasters, so he'll have more fun. Until they all get cranky. :-)

It got me thinking - since it's a Friday and the weather is supposed to be warm & sunny, I decided that I'm going to surprise the 10 y.o. with a trip to Adventure Island. It'll beat the walk-a-thon that the school has planned out in the dust bowl that is the playground area. I know some people look down on keeping kids out of school for things like this, but I figure, a little spontaneity never hurt anyone. And neither did a day off from school.

We'll just call it a field trip to study the effects of the forces of water if anyone asks.

I really need to get out more

2006-04-20T13:28:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I did a happy dance over this, but I'll take it, however insignificant.

In my online search for a repair kit for the rusty dishwasher, I decided to call my local May*tag center (the place where we'd originally bought it) to see if they carried it. The kit contained vinyl caps & paint to cover the prongs. At $30, it was a much better deal than new racks. The guy who answered didn't have it, but transferred me to the parts department - the same place that had given me the bad news about my out-of-warranty racks.

The woman takes the model & serial number from me and puts me on hold. When she returns, she gives me the news that my racks ARE covered - for FIVE YEARS!!! I still have four months left on the warranty. I think I actually said "Hallelujah" to her after she told me. I was so freakin' happy!! They should be delivered within the week.

Could my week get any better? ;-)

Everything is Broken

2006-04-18T13:35:00.000-04:00

I have the above-mentioned Bob Dylan song in my head today. He certainly wasn't thinking of items in my house when he wrote it, but I'm going with it, so there.

Do I really want to make myself sound like my parent's generation when I bemoan the fact that things aren't made like they used to be? I realize that part of our society has become enamored of disposable living - despite paying more for these items, you name it, if we can throw it away after one use... hoo-ha!!

Still, major appliances shouldn't fall under "disposable". At least in my book.

Case in point #1 - Whirl*pool washer; less than three years old - problem: rusting lid. Called customer service to find out that warranty doesn't cover this now. Sigh. Okay. How much to get a new one? Hold on here... $100.... for a LID?? That's supposed to get wet because it's attached to a washing machine?! Can't these people coat it with something that will keep the WET surfaces from rusting? So, the new lid would be almost 1/3 of what we paid for this fine piece of craftsmanship. No way. I'm off to find touch up paint and pray that it won't, at some point, get into the wash.

Case in point #2 - May*tag dishwasher; 4 years old - problem: rusting racks. Called the 1-800 number yesterday on the side of the DW. I was told about all the parts that HAVE 5 year warranties. Guess what? The racks aren't included. Total damage for two racks - about $190. Please. Almost HALF of what we originally paid for this item? Ugh....

It frustrates me that things don't seem to be made to last now. Or that companies don't care if they put out a quality product. We're just expected to suck it up and buy another. Maybe they're in cahoots with credit card companies... Hmmmm.

Kudos for DH

2006-04-15T09:29:00.000-04:00

C&P from Scott Bateman's blog:

BATEMAN365:
Day240 is up NOW!
This is awesome--so this guy I don't know submitted a sound file, and it's now one of my favorite stories ever.
So please enjoy "Greg Williams Meets Mr. Friendly."
And submit your own sound file for me to animate--follow the submissions link, yo, or just do a Phone Post and point me toward it in case I miss it.

Bateman 365

2006-04-14T13:14:00.000-04:00

This is a really cool project: Bateman365 Even DH got in on it - his is Day 240 in the archives. Anyone can submit, so give it a try.

Excerpt from Fast Company Magazine:

"Scott Bateman, a Portland, Oregon-based editorial cartoonist and Flash animator has undertaken an interesting -- and inspiring -- project. Under the umbrella of Bateman365, the animator will produce one Flash animation a day... for the next year. Not all of the installments are work safe, so be mindful."

Day 180 - Fathers & You: An Educational Filmstrip was funny & sad at the same time. It was done by Bateman. I wonder if it was from personal experience?

I should be ... (insert action word here)

2006-04-13T08:10:00.000-04:00

Three hours of work this week. That's all I've been assigned so far... and I'm lost. I'd been putting in 20-25 hours a week recently (I won't lie - the money is nice), when my original deal with my neighbor/owner of the co., was to work about 10-12. After reminding the office manager three weeks ago of this (I guess the communication broke down between the two), I'm lucky to see five to eight hours. So now I find myself obsessively checking my work folders and email, just hoping to find something there. Is she punishing me for taking a step back? Why do I care, anyway?

There are so many other things I could be doing.

For instance: sleeping, exercising, de-cluttering, gardening, painting, reading, visiting friends, shopping, reading blogs, walking the dog; the list could go on.

Yet I'm drawn to this little square in my office cubby. Looking for validation that I can contribute to my family with something other than cleaned dishes or mopped floors. It's been easier to sit here working than to get busy living. That's going to change. I don't want my life to be filled with woulda/coulda/shoulda.

Wanted: an extra closet (or 2...or 3...)

2006-03-27T16:15:00.000-05:00

We've thrown out/sold/given away everything we can possibly think of, and we still don't have room for what's left.

As much as I'm happy that the boys now have their own rooms, it put us in a bind for storage. Where to put that pesky file cabinet? What do we do with the videos and kid's keepsakes? It's all stored in what used to be our MB walk-in closet. It's more like scrunch-in, now.

A basement would be great. Not happening here unless I want to make everything water-tight and don't mind swimming to get to it. Attic would be good, too. But after having my outdoor Christmas candy cane lights turn a grotesque color of yellow last year, I nixed the idea of using it.

Honestly, we don't have tons of stuff. DH makes sure of that - he's the anti-pack rat. Pretty much, if it's not nailed down, it goes in the trash sooner than later. The kids are another story. I've had to play "dumb" (not a stretch, I know) so many times about what happened to any number of leaves/rocks/acorns/happy meal toys/"insert odd item here" because they've been disposed of when the kid wasn't looking. It involves something like, "Ummm, I know I saw it last week. Where did you put it?" Then I pose an unrelated question (usually involving food) that throws them off of the interrogation trail. Whew! Crisis averted!

DH is waiting to hear from another prospective employer which would involve moving. This time, I want no less than 2,000 sf. And most of it had better be closet space.

2006-03-14T13:57:00.000-05:00

My joy in life is missing.

It disappeared when I wasn't looking. Or maybe I was looking too hard.

A tennis game today, turned into "how to berate yourself silently for hitting sucky returns". It was all too clear at that point that "joy" was gone. To drive the point home with a hammer, the other couple next to us were playing, laughing at miscues and having a good time. Which, in turn, made me berate myself even more silently.

Where have I lost the joy? The fun? I don't like myself very much (can you tell?) these days.

I'm sick

2006-03-12T14:57:00.000-05:00

What the hell is wrong with me?

After going through my closet yesterday in a desperate search for something that fit from the waist down, I realized that I was left with two - TWO - pair of pants that could be deemed suitable for outside wear. I cursed myself for the rest of the day for letting it get to this point and kicking my ass for not doing something about it sooner. How can I ever hope to feel good about myself when I'm staring at the flab-ulence that's become my waistline?

You think I'd be smart enough to say "enough." Ah, not so... Today, I stupidly recommend DH pick up donuts for the kids that are sleeping over, ("...oh, I'll just have one...") and lose my mind when he calls while out running errands and asks what I want from McDonald's ("can you bring me a Big Mac?")

I'm sick I tell ya'. Sick.

He'll make a good husband some day

2006-03-03T15:13:00.000-05:00

I really wish I had a digital camera!

E. & J. never had the cleanest room in town. However, E. was always blaming J. for his toys and everything else as to why their room could get so messy. After giving them their own rooms two weeks ago, it's apparent who the "real" messy person is.

"I'll take 'Teenage Habits' for $1000 please, Alex"....

J. now makes his bed EVERY morning, without fail or prompting. You'd swear that a 10 year old boy didn't inhabit the room - toys are put away, drawers neat, shelves organized - the works. It's as though the cocoon of being with the older brother has broken free and he's become a dyed-in-the-wool neatnik! LOL!

Honestly, it's making the rest of the house (and me) look bad. But I'm enjoying every minute of it - while it lasts.

All's quiet on the eastern coast

2006-02-21T14:28:00.000-05:00

I'm here alone. Nothing but the sound of the towels tumbling in the dryer.

Not that DH's family is loud or messy, but there's something about the quiet that descends upon the house when everyone leaves. Definitely my moment of zen. No more suitcases or air mattresses on the floor. No small juice glasses left on the bathroom counter. (an aside - does anyone else keep a glass in the bathroom? I've never seen it except for when they visit. Weird.)

Still, in a way, it's a sad quiet. Yes, I have my house back, there were times that I thought what more can we talk about, and if I had to do another load of dishes I'd pass out. But life goes back to normal and I miss them.

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T07:38:00.000-05:00

Lookee what DH surprised me with last night. He bought the cranberry color. It's SO snuggly - I even took it to bed with me (and it's around my shoulders as I type this - heh). If they ever make this into a robe, I'll insist on having one (or two).

The in-laws are coming! The in-laws are coming!

2006-02-13T09:52:00.000-05:00

DH's family will be here Wednesday evening. We've known about it for the past three weeks, but do you think the house is ready? Nooooooooooo.

Things to do today: buy presentable towels, buy more dishes, clean, clean, and clean some more. Oh yeah, and a trip to the grocery store might be nice.

Trying to sleep seven people in a house with only three beds and not one pull-out sofa is a logistical nightmare. I'm sure there are those of you out there who've had a house full of people and made it work. You might even thrive on all the activity and closeness. Not me. I'm fiercely protective of my privacy and need my space. Ask my kids. It's especially difficult because we spent all weekend splitting them into separate rooms. No easy feat since they've been sharing a room for the past seven years in this house. It was like moving all over again, only with more toys. Gah.

**We thought we were going to be in for a struggle with the youngest, because he always likes to have someone in his room at night before bed, but he's adapted remarkably well. He got up this morning saying he now sleeps better even when he wakes up at night, because he doesn't hear his brother snoring. Snort!**

So now I've got both of them griping about giving up their "new" rooms. I'm trying to play the good role model mom and tell them how it's only for a week and we don't get to see the family much, blah, blah, blah. But deep down I know I'm a hypocrite, because I'd be griping my ass off if I had to give up MY room. I feel like such a bad & selfish person because I should be celebrating family. They're really nice people and I love seeing them. But they could visit any time, say spring break, when the disruption wouldn't affect the kids so much - like at school. I just don't want to deal with the crankiness.

Feel free to think bad things about me.

I have become my parents

2006-02-08T07:43:00.000-05:00

That's a scary-looking sentence up there.

As much as I've railed against it, it's happening. I can see it clearly in my recent "exchanges" with the teen-ager.

Son - "Why am I always the one who has to put away the dishes? It's always me! You just don't want to do them."
Me - "Because your dad & I are not the only ones in this house who eat off of them and get them dirty. I'm sure your friends have chores, too."
S - "No! I'm the only one who has to do freakin' (my patience hits the wall here) chores! I can't wait to move out!" (slams cabinet doors for added dramatic effect)
M - (voice rising higher) "Oh yeah, we'll I'd like to see how far you'd get if someone wasn't around to do your dishes."
S - "Whatever... this sucks!"
M - "It sucks? Well here, let me get your sleeping bag and thing of go-gurt and off ya' go."
S - mumbles something incoherent.
M - (sounding shrewish) "What?? What did you say? I'm sorry that it takes 5 minutes out of your precious day of video gaming to do dishes. I wouldn't want you to break a sweat or anything." Mind you, he only gets 30 min. a day of gaming. (that's MY dramatic comeback)

And on it goes, for another 10 minutes. I'm exhausted at the end, and tossing and turning about it before I go to sleep at night.

Why. Why am I trying to argue with a 13 year old? Like my mom always said, it's like arguing with a brick wall. I understand that now, but don't understand why I'm perpetuating the process. I can't seem to find a better way to deal with it. And books on the subject, once they're past the Dr. Sears years, are sorely lacking. They all seem to point to the fact that I should've started better communication about, oh, the time of birth. Well, it's a little late for that now. So what am I going to do?

I feel like it's only going to get worse, and I'm scared.

Am I the only one who...

2006-02-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

sees the mildew becoming a science project in the shower stall that four people share?
notices that the a/c intake filter has enough dust on it to create another planet?
knows that the little brush in the silver container next to the toilet bowl is not just for decoration?
understands that windows/mirrors don't clean themselves?
is grossed out by the toothpaste residue in the sink?
realizes that the plates don't just dance themselves off of the table and into the sink a la "Beauty & the Beast"?

I guess I am.

I think I'll just go crawl in a hole somewhere

2006-01-31T19:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Mel for this enlightening look - gee, I scare even myself now...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		40%
Stability		30%
Orderliness		56%
Accommodation		70%
Interdependence		50%
Intellectual		30%
Mystical		10%
Artistic		43%
Religious		43%
Hedonism		10%
Materialism		63%
Narcissism		23%
Adventurousness		23%
Work ethic		50%
Self absorbed		23%
Conflict seeking		43%
Need to dominate		70%

Romantic		56%
Avoidant		56%
Anti-authority		83%
Wealth		16%
Dependency		43%
Change averse		63%
Cautiousness		76%
Individuality		30%
Sexuality		30%
Peter pan complex		63%
Physical security		76%
Physical Fitness		30%
Histrionic		30%
Paranoia		63%
Vanity		43%
Hypersensitivity		56%
Female cliche		63%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Trait snapshot:

introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual

Lycra, schmycra

2006-01-31T17:38:00.000-05:00

You know the deal with jeans right out of the dryer? How they're a little snug at first, but then they break in after wearing them for a while? (If your jeans fit right out of the dryer, just stop reading right now.) I was a little worried when I first put them on. Think sausage casings. But surely, they'd stretch.

Four hours later, they haven't budged much at all. And they have LY*CRA in them, for pete's sake! This is not good, people. I can only imagine the line of demarcation that will be around my waist when they come off tonight. Gah.

I know I haven't been as active lately as I'd been in the past. But I had no idea until I stepped on my friend's scale before picking our kids up from the bus stop. I'm 1.5 teensy little pounds away from 140 lbs. I haven't seen that number since I was pregnant 10 years ago. Okay. I'll keep telling myself that muscle weighs more than fat.

I'm not going down without a fight. It's on... it's SO on.

Would it work with dogs??

2006-01-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

Stuff On My Cat dot com

If you can read this...

2006-01-28T23:42:00.000-05:00

and want to be blogrolled, leave me your http in comments, please! I changed templates and lost my roll, so I'd like to rebuild it. Thanks! :-)

Steven Wright - Comedic genius

2006-01-28T11:46:00.000-05:00

I love him because with his soft-spoken style and deadpan delivery, he forces the listener to pay attention and "get it". We were all walking out of the theater wondering how in the world he manages to keep everything straight during the course of a 2-hour (yes, TWO HOUR) performance. Some things are better left unknown and just enjoyed. Here are some of the good ones (at least the ones I could remember)...

"I was wondering how my life would have been different if I'd been born one day earlier, and I thought maybe it wouldn't be different at all, except that I'd have asked that question yesterday."

"My friend has a trophy wife... apparently it wasn't first place."

My girlfriend asked me "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?"
"Nope."
"Forget it, then."

"I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future - just way off to the side."

"Sponges grow in the ocean. That kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."

"I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'un-quote'."

"In Europe is Miles Davis known as Kilometer Davis?"

"I am getting an MRI to find out if I have claustrophobia."

" I was driving down the road and I saw this hitchhiker holding a sign that said "Heaven"...so I hit him. I pretty sure he went there, he looked nice."

"The last time I tried to commit suicide was about an hour ago. I jumped off the roof of this very tall building and accidentally did a double back-flip and landed on my feet. No one witnessed this except two kittens who were nearby. One of the kittens turned to the other and said "see, that's how you do that".

"When I was five years old my grandfather died. I was standing beside coffin at the funeral home thinking about my flashlight. Then I started thinking about the batteries. Then I thought, "Maybe he's not dead . . . Maybe he's just in wrong."

What color is love? Maybe brown...

2006-01-25T19:53:00.000-05:00

Warning: put down all food and/or drink before continuing. Not for the squeamish.

Let's start with DH's need to de-clutter our house....

He's been on a kick ever since reading this book a few weeks ago. Actually, he was doing research for a news story, and found out that she lives a block away from where we lived 10 years ago. Weird. But I digress...

So Monday night, I took my necklace off and left it on the table next to the chair in our living room. A beautiful Sunrise topaz pendant set in sterling that I had purchased only 2 weeks ago at a local art festival. I rarely treat myself to things like this - not really being a jewelry fanatic - but this little piece called out to me.

Fast forward to this morning. I go to the table to get it and it's not there. Walk to the bedroom and check my dresser where I see the sterling chain, but no pendant. Calling to DH, he tells me that it's on the dresser. Uh, no, it's not. Start searching frantically and can... not... find... it. DH did not realize, I suppose, that the pendant could slip off of the chain. I was pissed and upset. It didn't help that Aunt Flo was making her appearance at the same time. Yes, I KNOW it was an accident, but that doesn't make me any less upset. What if I'd moved something of his and it'd had been lost or damaged? Can I just leave something somewhere without having to worry about it being moved all the time??!

I combed every inch of carpet around the 20 steps between the bedroom and the table. Looked under the chair, couch and all cushions. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Conclusion: Sheba, aka "Hoover of a dog", sucked it up. This dog leaves nothing unturned. Acorns are her primary source of nourishment on her walks. I don't know where she puts it all. And with as much fruit as she eats, she should be considered vegetarian.

It's now time to take son #1 to the orthodontist for spacer replacement. It's a very quiet ride. Gee, I wonder why I don't feel like talking? Thirty minutes later, we pull into our garage and get out of the car. Damn!! What's that smell?? Did I run over something. I can't even begin to describe the stench. We head inside and find DH. At the same time, son #1 and I ask about the stench in the garage. Here's where it gets good, ya'll.

DH proceeds to tell us that he ... get ready... searched Hoover Dog's poop in the yard. Yes. Her feces, excrement, whatever you want to call it. Went through each pile he could find, gallantly trying to keep the gag reflex from getting the best of him. He was sure that, if she had eaten the missing pendant, it would have been "out" by now.

How could I stay mad at him? The man went through sh*t for me. I think it must be love.

A post script -

Later this evening, I decided to look once again. Scouring the carpet near the blinds, I find my treasure hidden in the track of the sliding doors. No where near the area where the pendant had been. The find was a big relief to DH, who'd volunteered to keep "searching" until it turned up. Gotta' love him. :-)

Uhhhhhh

2006-01-25T07:27:00.000-05:00

When did my brain become the repository for everyone's "to-do" lists in this family? Is it in the fine print of the motherhood contract somewhere? I wish there was a place to empty the brain out on a daily basis of all the static that builds up. Start fresh each day. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

I'm baaaaccckkkk

2006-01-23T20:29:00.000-05:00

I hope the spam-a-lots stay away this time. Sheesh!! Had to delete the last entry just to get rid of the crap. Well, I added that new "verification" comments thingy. Let's see how long it keeps them at bay. If it doesn't work, can anyone help me put together something simple outside blogger??

Honestly, I can say there's not been much to write about in the last 4 months. We're all getting older, E's voice is getting deeper (sometimes it REALLY freaks me out), my hair is getting longer, the dog is getting fatter (okay - me, too), I'm working more, DH's job is getting worse. Fun times.

I have started playing tennis again. God, nothing shows you how old your joints really are like an hour spent running after a little yellow ball on a hard surface. Do they still make Ben*Gay? And why was it called Ben*Gay anyway? Who was the marketing genius behind THAT one?? No, really, this doesn't keep me awake at night.

I hope to get back to reading all the good blogs out there. Thanks for staying with me. :-)

T-minus 3 days...

2005-09-13T13:34:00.000-04:00

... until I'm done with my job! Woo-hoo!

That's right. There'll be no more librarian jokes at my expense. I'm moving on.

My neighbor, for whom I'd been doing freelance proofreading, has asked me to devote more time to it and other projects for his company. He hit me up on the right day, too. After a particularly heavy day, cleaning up the children's room for the umpteenth time (including a BIG apple juice spill), I couldn't refuse his offer to work from home for more money. I suppose I could refuse, but then DH would have to commit me somewhere pastoral.

It wasn't easy handing the resignation letter over to my boss. I still try to please everyone, so I was nervous. She understood. I think she'd be gone if she had the opportunity to do something else, too. Everyone has been giving me the requisite amount of good-natured BS for leaving. I tell them I'll come and visit. Ha!

What I love about Sunday

2005-09-11T15:35:00.000-04:00

1) Waking up with the sunrise, not with the alarm clock.
2) Or, having the kids be our goofy & giggly "alarm clock".
3) Eating fried eggs with a sloppy middle - sopping it up with a warm biscuit. Gotta' have bacon, too.
4) Reading the paper from cover to cover, even all the ad circulars.
5) The BIG crossword puzzle.
6) For the next few months... FOOTBALL! :-)
7) Having DH make lunch for us.
8) Sunday drives after (or before) dinner. Usually ending up at some sort of ice cream establishment.
9) DH taking the kids someplace while I get some time alone.
10) Occasionally staying in my PJs the whole day.

Help an old woman out...

2005-09-08T21:36:00.000-04:00

You can see my attempt at a new blog title up there. Lame, yes? I blame my aging brain.

I know someone out there can do better. Give it a go and I'll print them here. Even yours, Jana. :-)

Not the "Vacation" I'm sure the Go-Gos had in mind...

2005-06-10T10:44:00.000-04:00

We're baaaaack.

I swear, if there hadn't been a plane-load of people behind me, I would've knelt down and kissed that worn-out, stained piece of fabric they call carpet in the jetway.

I've already made my declaration that next year will be an "immediate family-only" vacation. There are just some things that shouldn't involve more than four people, and vacation is one of them. Going on a trip to a strange city is difficult enough with two kids, but add people that have no idea of what raising kids is like, well... you get the picture.

My kids aren't angels by any stretch of the imagination. I'll be the first to admit that there are times when I don't seem to have any clue about raising them, either. So, when certain itineraries don't leave enough down time for said children who are not used to walking everywhere, things can get a little, oh, cranky.

DC was an incredible place, though. We stayed in Dupont Circle and I loved the energy of the neighborhood. I was envious of the people who lived there, being able to take advantage of a fabulous Farmers Market, then taking their Sunday paper and a grande mocha-whatever out on the circle to enjoy the park and the people watching. And if I'd been 15 years younger without kids, I think I'd have to seriously consider living in Georgetown. We only got there for dinner and I didn't have time to shop in any of the fabulous make-up stores along M Street. This is what a fun city is all about.

People aren't kidding when they say it's expensive, though. We did manage to find a few good little places to eat by asking the locals. Luna Grill was a funky little eatery that we all loved. Great food and service. A half serving of pasta (which was STILL too big to finish) was only $4. Can't beat that. Note for next time - get a room with a mini fridge.

We hit every touristy thing possible. J's favorite was the Lincoln Memorial. We went there at night, partly because it was unseasonably hot for such a long walk during the day and also to see it lit. It was very moving, even with some of the lights on the outer structure out due to renovations. E's best stop was the Dept. of Printing and Engraving. Anything to do with money HAS to be good, in his eyes. I enjoyed the National Archives, as well as the Smithsonian Museum of Art. Watching the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns gave me goosebumps.

So, I'm back to the routine. Work starts again on Monday and the computer is still in limbo. I hope it's not another month before it's fixed. Oy.

Hard times for the hard drive

2005-05-12T18:33:00.000-04:00

Ahhh... tartar sauce!!

Yes, the computer is still down and it doesn't look promising. The Geek Squad is doing their best, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm at the library right now (I should be home making dinner - but the boys wanted some internet access, too, so that's my "out"!)

All is well, just hectic. Had new carpeting put in the house yesterday and I don't want to put ANY of my furniture back in - the minimalist look is growing on me. I've put my foot down and told DH that nothing will go back in the house without major scrutinizing from us. It's my own version of "Clean Sweep" without the British guy.

So, I'm still here. Thinking about all of you and hoping that everything is happy in your corners of the universe.

Decisions

2005-04-02T19:59:00.001-05:00

My brain is ready to explode.

I don't enjoy making decisions, and when I've got more than one or two on my plate, I start to panic and shut down. Seriously, how can choosing a carpet color and style make me want to stick my head in the sand? Should I turn down the better-paying library assistant job because of the weird hours? Where do we stay while we're on vacation this year? What's for dinner? It all makes me want to stick my fingers in my ears and go "Lalalalalalalalalala. Can't hear you!"

So, I find myself staring at the television and still in my pajamas rather than making these decisions. Is it a passive-aggressive thing? Am I depressed? My poor husband doesn't seem to know what to do with me, and neither do I. I know that I should just step up and decide, still the what-ifs and buts drown out my reason. This is not a good way to go through life.

Happy, happy, joy, joy

2005-03-31T23:12:00.000-05:00

It's been a slow news week, as we used to say at the paper, but I do have a bit of happy news to report.

Once you give up an animal for adoption, they won't tell you anything about what happens once it leaves your care. Soooo, after letting my sneaky side get the better of me, I called the SPCA yesterday, pretending *cough* to be interested in adopting a cat. I fed her the story that I'd been there the previous day, gave her Molly's description and asked if she was still available. She put me on hold for quite a while and then came back with "I'm sorry. Molly's been adopted." I'm sure I did a good job at sounding disappointed and I told her I'd check back another time. Heh. Here's to happier, and dog-free, days for Molly!!

For Molly

2005-03-27T19:04:00.000-05:00

She found her way into our house via a tree six years ago on the 4th of July weekend. I noticed our next-door neighbor's dog standing watch under our big oak tree and thought she was looking at some squirrel or bird. When she didn't move after about half an hour, I went outside to see what was up, and there she was. Scrawny little kitty. The neighbor came over and was able to rescue her from her predicament. She ran off around our neighbor's garage as soon as those four little paws hit the ground.

Later that afternoon, we were getting stuff ready for our four-house 4th of July party, when that same neighbor came out with the kitten. Seems he'd left the garage door open and he'd found the furball sleeping under the car. She was the hit of the party. Every kid wanted to hold her, and so did many of the adults. By the end of the party, E. had named her and somehow, that made her ours. She was skittish, not very loving - definitely NOT a lap cat. Miss Independent. I don't believe I ever even heard her purr in the last six years. She tolerated the boys and they learned to leave her alone when those ears went flat.

Fast forward to last August. Boys decide they want a dog. We searched and searched for just the right one before we brought Sheba home. Wonderful dog - loving, quiet (unless you walk by the front window or ring our doorbell) and curious about her new housemate. I did everything I could to ease the transition but the cat wanted none of it. She took her frustrations out on our carpet, then our sleeper sofa in the guest room, and finally, a bean bag chair in the boys room.

It wasn't an easy decision to make. We tried to find someone we knew who might want to take Molly in. Stress was taking its toll on her and our house. So today, I took her to the SPCA where we adopted Sheba. E. understood why. I told him that at least she'd have a chance to be adopted there. I'd make sure to tell them that she should not be around dogs or little kids who like to pull tails, etc. I also told him that whoever adopted Molly from the shelter would be more likely to return her there should they realize that they couldn't keep her.

I didn't think I'd be as affected by it as I am. After I signed her over, I went out to the car and started bawling like a baby. I knew I couldn't drive in that state and I went into the other area of the shelter that housed the cats. I wanted to see where she'd be while awaiting her new family. A kind volunteer saw my tear-stained face and asked what was wrong. When I told her, she just grabbed hold and hugged me. Then she sat me down and told me all about how they care for their animals. She even went back to the holding area to see how Molly was adjusting. From what she told me, Molly sounded relaxed and calm - not scared at all. God. I'm crying as I type this. I didn't expect this flood of emotion over a cat that never seemed to want much from me except food and litter box cleaning. I guess she meant more to me than I realized.

I hope that you'll be queen of the house wherever you go, Molly, and that you'll always have a window in the sun.

Monday, monday

2005-03-21T20:15:00.000-05:00

My friend Robyn has a new blog, so I thought I'd give her a shout out and welcome her to blogging. Stop by, say hi and check out her majorly cute kidlets.

Spring break started here today. I have to work this week (bah!), so DH is staying home with the kids in the a.m. and going in to work late. It sucks, but at least I'm only there until one o'clock. Not sure how all this will work out during summer break. It just may be the straw that breaks this old camel's back. We're under-staffed and there seems to be no relief forthcoming. After only a month, our branch is quickly becoming the most used (according to the circulation numbers) in our county, and we have half the staff. It's a nightmare. I'm hoping it improves, or else I'll be re-thinking this whole "back to work" thing. $5.65 an hour for this aggravation is not worth it.

On a brighter note, my guys surprised the heck out of me today. When I got home from work, they weren't around so I was going to get some computer time in. On my way to the back room, I passed the boys' room and I was floored because I could see... the FLOOR!! Their room was as close to spotless as one can get. Lately, I'd just been closing the door and trying not to think of all the stuff everywhere. J's idea of cleaning is stuffing all of his trading cards and toys under any surface (bed, nightstand, desk, shoes, etc.). E. is only slightly better. Any flat surface is fair game storage. Their desk had become one giant display shelf with dust being the main "attraction". I don't know what DH did to get them motivated, but I want to bottle it and sell it. I'd never have to worry about money again! LOL!

I wonder if they'd be interested in tackling the garage next. Hmmmmm.

Zzzzzzzzzz

2005-03-11T16:15:00.000-05:00

I envy people who have something to write about each day.

Life here is boring, people. Plain and simple. My big thrill was getting this from the Brown Guy today. (This is what happens when you have the most basic cable service - i.e. 10 channels. I'm amazed at how easy it is to keep watching something that I normally wouldn't think twice about.) Haven't tried it yet, but I'm sure that the 12 y.o. will want first crack at it for making a smoothie after school. After all, he was the one egging me on to order it. If it gets him more active in the kitchen, it's worth the money.

More boredom ahead -

I was off at noon today and was so excited to have two and a half hours to myself that I celebrated by going to ...

COST*CO

Wooo-boy. From noon to 1:30, I strolled the aisles looking at all the new and not-so-new things. (Oooh! Clear storage bins with lids - only $13.99 for fourteen!! Hmmm. I could use some new socks. Looks like we'll be having chicken parmesean for dinner tonight, baby!) Sampling was good - enough to qualify as "lunch", but I still found time to hit a drive-through on the way home. After two months of working, I realize how little time I have to just hang out. The only thing that would've made it better was to have someone giving samples of 5-minute neck massages. Other than that, it was heaven.

After all this excitement, I think I need a little nap.

Where shopping is a pleasure

2005-02-28T15:15:00.000-05:00

It was wet and windy yesterday, so I "coerced" a friend into going to the mall for some inside recreation. Work has been busier than expected and I'm picking up extra hours because we're down one employee. Plus, the kids have managed to find my last good nerve and strip it down to nothing. Definitely cause for a major time-out for mom. It was fun browsing around, not looking for anything in particular, and catching up with each other. I really miss spending time with her.

She did manage to talk me into one purchase - these cool Doc*Marten shoes. Now, I never thought that Doc*Martens would be something I'd wear, but they're so comfy and cute! The name has always brought to mind boots and chunky shoes, so I was really surprised to see these in Dillards. I'm tempted to get them in brown, too. You can never have enough shoes, right?

Always look on the bright side of life

2005-02-23T19:30:00.000-05:00

*whistling*

Things that have made me laugh out loud recently, in no particular order:

"Knights of the Roundtable" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail done in ... well, go see for yourself.

Watching Life of Brian, especially this scene and this one.

Reading the blog, Very Mom. I don't care if I look stupid laughing at a computer screen, her stuff is great.

Napoleon Dynamite - Dry and odd, and my oldest has memorized just about all of his lines.

Hearing J. (my 9 y.o.) singing the words to Barenaked Ladies "Another Postcard" (the Chimpanzee song) while in the shower.

Oh yeah, and trying on pants at the mall yesterday. Hys-ter-i-cal.

I have to laugh because if I don't, I start focusing on the sad fact that only pants involving elastic waistbands fit me properly. Please - someone design jeans with a waist that doesn't show the entire backside of my underwear, yet doesn't come all the way up underneath my bra.

"Just purse your lips and whistle. That's the thing.
And..."

Or just sing about chimpanzees...

Mood Indigo

2005-02-22T15:20:00.000-05:00

It's interesting how a few choice words can make our thoughts do a 180-degree turn.

"Indigo" was definitely a good description of my thoughts yesterday. Something unseen - a little wanderlust, maybe? - kept my mood in the realm of depressing hues. It didn't help matters when the oldest told me that my hair was looking "stripey". They were supposed to be subtle highlights. I doubt that I'll let my stylist talk me into that again.

Anyway, I was reading a column in the paper this morning in which the writer was talking about Tom Robbins' book, Jitterbug Perfume. In it, Robbins makes the point that beets ("the most intense of vegetables") leave the body the same color as they enter. Ewww, I know. But stay with me.

From the epilogue:

"At birth, we are red-faced, round, intense, pure. The crimson fire of universal consciousness burns in us. Gradually, however, we are devoured by parents, gulped by schools, chewed up by peers, swallowed by social institutions, wolfed by bad habits, and gnawed by age; and by the time we have been digested, cow style, in those six stomachs, we emerge a single disgusting shade of brown.

"The lesson of the beet, then, is this: hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're brown, you'll find that you're blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that means:

"Indigo,
"Indigoing,
"Indigone."

Divine blush... rosy magic. That's what I want in my life. As much as I love the blue hues, I don't want to wake up one morning and find myself "indigone".

Paper Clips

2005-02-20T21:32:00.000-05:00

It's an amazing story that will move you to tears.

It follows the students and teachers of Whitwell Middle School, located in a small town outside Chattanooga, TN, who've created this unique project to study diversity. To see how far this project reaches out and touches people from all over the world is inspiring.

It it's in your area, please make a point to go see it.

Don't make me get the ruler...

2005-02-18T15:25:00.000-05:00

One of the patrons (and I use the term loosely) who is known for being a sticky fingers at another library, has been visiting us frequently since our branch opened. According to my boss, he's partial to DVDs and has made off with a few at the other branch. I don't know why the staff there hasn't done anything to stop him, but I'll be damned if he gets any on my watch.

So, I spent an hour of my day yesterday following him. To hell with discretion - he KNEW I was watching him. I even made a point of asking him if he needed help. What I really wanted to do was say "Look ass*hole, we're on to you, okay? Now why don't you just leave and go steal something from Wal*Mart and leave the county stuff alone. I've got work to do!" He tries to be sneaky - he'll come in for a while, then leave and come back 20 minutes later dressed differently. Hello, McFly??! Like we're that stupid to be fooled by a change of clothes. He must have serious issues and a lot of money to spend all day doing this shit. Seriously, the man comes in every. single. day.

Part of me secretly hopes to catch him pilfering so I can bust his ass. Is that wrong? Heh.

For Amber...

2005-02-15T13:51:00.000-05:00

... because she still reads my stuff. Heh.

This is the best I could do using a scanner and no digi camera. Presenting my new librarian specs...

They're a tortie brown color with bronze accents on the edges and sides. Quite a change from the semi-rimless glasses I had prior to these. I've still got 15 days left to decide whether or not to keep them. If I do, I'll let DH take a pic of me wearing them and I'll post it here.

Do not adjust your screen

2005-02-14T13:50:00.000-05:00

I'm just playing around with a different template. "Minima" certainly describes this style. I'm surprised they bothered to put any color in the design at all, however, it looked good to me at 2 a.m. One day, I'll learn how to tweak the codes and get a decent-looking blog. Maybe when the kids are in college.

Make mine dark chocolate, please

2005-02-14T00:45:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share this since I'm still up, no thanks to a smashing case of heartburn.

This comes from "Love Adds a Little Chocolate" by Linda Andersen. It was an excerpt given in a book I'm reading now, "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World ". Enjoy!

Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a little love note inside... Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs (even to teenagers!)... Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it. Obligation can pour a glass of milk, but quite often, love adds a little chocolate.

Hope everyone's day is full of the chocolaty kind of love.

Just smack me

2005-02-13T22:30:00.000-05:00

We'd planned to go see Tom Barry at The Improv tonight, but E. came down with a fever today. I didn't feel comfortable having my sitter - who is the daughter of my best friend - come over with a feverish kid in the house, so I decided to stay home. That created an uproar with the kid. "I'm not a baby! You can still go out! Just take J. to Mrs. O's house and I'll stay home." Nuh-uh. I know he's almost 13 (gah!!), but I don't feel comfortable leaving him home alone at night while he's sick and we're 30 minutes away in a comedy club. E. felt bad that we'd missed the concert earlier this week, so that was partly why he wanted me to go, but I just couldn't do it. It felt like even DH was kind of hoping that I would. Weird vibes all day.

I'm sure I added to the weirdness when he came home and "surprised" me with a electric foot massage thingy for an early Valentine's Day gift. Ummmm, well.... He could tell that it wasn't what I was expecting because he hastily said that I could return it. Heck, I wasn't expecting anything - hadn't really thought about it other than to stuff 24 gift bags with candy for J's class. He said that since I'd be on my feet a lot at the library he decided to get it for me. I know his heart was in the right place, but it's not something I'd ever use. I hate how those things vibrate your feet to numbness. Now a foot massage from him would make my day. I should have just said thank you and shut up, letting it collect dust under my bathroom sink, but I can't stand to see things go to waste.

Happy Valentine's Day...

Pass the M&Ms

2005-02-11T17:30:00.000-05:00

I'm sorely tempted to eat the treats I bought for J's class party Monday. They're in the pantry - Toot*sie Pops, Smar*ties, m&ms - calling to me. It's just been that kind of week.

Do NOT trust me with important information, sharp objects or anything else you don't want lost or stolen. Case in point: concert tickets for Alison Krauss & Union Station. Take a look at the picture and tell me what date is printed there.

If you read Mon., Feb. 7, then YOU deserved to go. I'm sure it was a terrific concert. But unfortunately, I don't know how to read or properly transfer information to my calendar, so we missed the concert. You read correctly - WE MISSED IT. After receiving the tickets back in Dec., I opened them and noted it on the calendar for Feb. 8 and placed them in a safe place so as not to lose them. Yes, I'm an idiot. Maybe the number 8 (as in P.M.) just jumped out at me. Who knows? If there was a way to physically kick my own ass, I would. We'd been looking forward to this for two months. It was our Valentine's Day treat. $45 a pop!! You can only imagine the sick feeling in my stomach when we opened the envelope to check the tickets that morning. As DH said, though, it's not a tragedy in the grand scheme of things. I realize that, but I can still be sick about it.

As for good news: the formal dedication for the library was held yesterday and everything went smoothly save for a little rain to start the day. More than 300 people attended, which is great for a weekday morning. The chorus from one of the schools performed a particularly moving a cappella rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner". Local politicians had to be there to let us know how much they fought for it. (yadda yadda). Cold Stone Cream*ery provided ice cream cake slices that were drool-inducing and wonderful! The PR department did a terrific job, but even with all the accolades, the staff just wanted to get down to the bid-ness of being a library.

Last but definitely not least. E. is going to his first school dance tonight! He came home yesterday and told me that his friend had talked him into going. Of course, he's just going "for the food". Heh. How I wish I could be a fly on the wall there tonight, but I know he'd never want me there as a chaperon. What kid does? At least he still tells me most things that happen with him and his friends. I'll have to settle for that.

Glasses menagerie

2005-02-07T14:48:00.000-05:00

Finally found a new pair of glasses last week. I've always preferred wearing them over contacts because a) they're easier to clean when they become dirty, b) they draw attention away from my other facial flaws (big plus) and c) i think they're a cool accessory.

Once I get a pair that I like, however, I want to hold on to them as long as possible because I hateshopping for them. It's more torture than swimsuit shopping each spring. The indecisive part of my brain goes bonkers because there are too many styles to choose from! DH has long since abandoned helping me in my pursuit of the perfect pair. Smart man.

Then there are all the add-on options: non-glare, transition tinting, plastic or polycarbonate, ad nauseum. My head is always on the verge of exploding while I juggle all this AND try to find a pair of flattering frames. Of course, I add to my misery by visiting more than one optical shop. That's always what the indecisive person needs - MORE choices.

Luckily, the shop I where I bought these has an unconditional 30-day guarantee, in case I find another frame I like better. *cough* It could happen. *cough*

Acid reflux attacks suck...

2005-02-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

'Nuff said.

Let's get this party started!

2005-01-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

Almost everything has been shelved in the new library, so during our break today, we were able to go shopping. *happy dance*

I admit - I started in the DVD section, but once these things are available to the public, they seem to disappear into the depths of the "on-hold" database. I DO plan to get books - just not this weekend.

Here's what's playing, in no particular order - Ghost World, About A Boy, and The Hours. It's started raining and the oldest is at a friend's house overnight, so I think I'll pop one in as soon as the nine year-old is in bed.

I also have a favor to ask. Hook me up with some good books to read. I'm so tired of the NY Times list and the library catalog isn't much help. I know you all have favorites, and I'm open to anything. Ah, related to book-reading, that is. I'll start a list to take to work on Monday, so gimme all ya' got!

Are you sure it's not Monday?

2005-01-27T16:20:00.000-05:00

My glasses broke this morning. I took them off to inspect something on a lens and SNAP! They broke right in half. I've only had these damn things for two years. What do they make them out of? Tin freakin' foil??! I guess I know what will become of my first paycheck. *grumble, grumble*

It was loads of fun trying to read the stuff in the stacks for re-shelving, and now I'm suffering from a headache that Ad*vil hasn't touched. I would also like to apologize to the driver who had the misfortune of being behind me on my way home. I don't think I went over 35 mph the whole way. I normally don't drive that slow, but blurry vision tends to make me a more cautious driver. I really wasn't trying to piss you off. Really.

Saturday had better hurry up and get here!

Do it now

2005-01-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

If you're reading this, stop... go hug your husbands, wives, significant others, family or friends right now. Tell them you love them and just hang onto them for a while.

I found out late yesterday that the husband of one of my friends died Saturday. He decided to grab a nap before taking his 10 year old and a friend out for the afternoon. Nothing out of the ordinary. She went to check on him a short time later and that was it. He was gone.

All I can think of is how I just saw her Thursday evening - we were jawing about some PTA stuff and catching up after the holidays. And just two days later, she loses the love of her life. I think about her son and I can't imagine my boys going through the awful pain of losing their dad. Whether or not you believe in God or a higher power, please keep them in your thoughts.

That Tim Mc*Graw song, Live Like You Were Dying, has been in my head all day. Did he? Did they? Do any of us? It's scary as hell to think about, because I know what my answer is.

Damn.

Warmth on a cold morning

2005-01-23T11:55:00.000-05:00

We all have days where we question the good in man/woman-kind. Some days more than others, depending on what the nightly news thrusts into our living rooms. I try to believe that there's more good out there than bad, and this little bit from my MIL reaffirms it.

She lives in town of 5000+ in the heart of the Midwest. A place where folks say "come with" and "doncha know", and the Friday night fish fry is a major happening. Still, it's grown to the point where most don't know as many neighbors and townsfolk as they'd like. Outsiders moving in and new homes popping up out in the hills past the new Stuff-Mart.

Saturday morning finds her outside, shoveling 17 inches of the white stuff that had blown through the night before. At 75, she still mows her own yard and keeps up with house repair, so we weren't surprised she'd been out there. About an hour into it, two men pull up in front of her house in a pick-up truck with a snow blower in back. They asked if they could take care of her walk/driveway and she said yes, fully expecting to pay them for their work.

When they finished, she asked them the cost and they said no charge. Nothing. She tried again to convince them to accept something for their trouble and they refused. Told her that they were just going around town, helping people who needed it.

Just helping people who needed help. Imagine what our world would be like if that's the attitude we held in our hearts every day. It might just put those news anchors out of business.

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

2005-01-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

Day two on the job and woooowheee, are my dogs hurtin'! I knew it included a lot of standing because that's what shelving books requires, but day-um. I've worn these shoes quite a bit, however putzing around the house or strolling through the mall doesn't require quite the same foot stamina. A good thing is that my thighs are getting quite the workout with all the squatting. I won't feel too bad for missing a day or two at the gym now.

Today was Story Time at the library. There were 52 - yes, 52 - little 2-3-4 year olds in attendance. When they came out of the room, it was as if they'd been sucking on Pixie Stix the entire time and were starting to crash. The silence was almost deafening when they left.

We move into the new building next week. I'm really excited about that. Everything will start out in its proper place. However, I know the beauty that is an organized section will be fleeting once we have to open the doors to the public. I've been re-discovering my inner anal-retentive the last two days every time I see a misplaced book. It really bugs the crap out of me. Maybe I picked the wrong place to work.

Random ruminations

2005-01-15T08:45:00.000-05:00

If it takes you longer to pluck out the grey hairs than it does to find them, it's time to consider a box of Clair*ol or a trip to the salon.

There is no such thing as Tupper*ware or Rub*bermaid that resists tomato stains.

The only thing worse than finding copious amounts of dog saliva on the kitchen floor is finding it with your bare feet.

Mini-marshmallows now packaged in little snack-sized bags to take to school? (I swear, we saw them at Stuff-Mart) Come on, Kra*ft, get real. Even my 9 year-old knows that this is bogus. Fat-free "food". That's why those marketing types get paid the big bucks.

If Super Stuff-Mart continues to add to their numbers of electric lard-carts, they need to widen the aisles so we pedestrians can make it out alive.

Cour-te-ous: adj: marked by respect for others : civil, polite.
When you see a large sign that says "Line Forms Here" and many people holding items standing behind said sign, don't try to sneakily skirt around to the other side of the counter because you think we won't notice. That's not very courteous.

Too much time on my hands

2005-01-14T10:15:00.000-05:00

Called friend. She's busy doing work for her daughter's school yearbook. Bummer. This will leave me with way too much time to think about all the things I should have done with my SAHM time, such as:

Finished painting the hall/LR/DR baseboards. That would've been nice, seeing as how I painted all the walls TWO YEARS ago.
Gone through all the crap that is in the closet of my spare bedroom.
Bound that quilt I started four years ago.
Taken my photos out of boxes and bags and into actual albums. How freakin' easy would that have been? I don't even scrapbook - just lick and stick.
Leaned how to plan real meals for my family. Corn dogs be damned.
Finished college. Even taking minimal courses, I think I'd be done by now.
Tons of other sh*t that I can't even begin to think about.

I am actually getting weepy thinking about how I've wasted my time. Regret sucks. And so does PMS.

Put on the shackles

2005-01-14T08:15:00.000-05:00

This is my last morning as a "free woman".

I start my job Tuesday. I don't count Monday because it's MLK day - how to celebrate? - and the kids will be home. Not exactly what I call free.

I should do something to mark this occasion. It will be first time in over 10 years that I'll be working consistently. Last year's sporadic substitute jobs don't count. I could accept as many or as few per month as I chose, so it was a "fun" job. This time around, my butt (and the rest of me) will belong to someone Monday through Friday, 4 hours a day, not including national holidays.

I am excited about this new venture, but I can still mourn what will soon be my "old life".

All those times I complained of boredom and the routine of daily housework, yada-yada. Bah. At least it was MY time table and I could choose to do nothing if the day presented itself that way. More often that not, it was my first choice before even getting out of bed. Heh. Maybe this new routine will somehow help me get my act together. I won't be able to afford the luxury of inefficiency - unless I want to suffer a nervous breakdown.

I think I'll call my best friend and visit with her. Maybe hit some stores and grab lunch at Panera. Just one more sweet morning of nothing.

What food pyramid?

2005-01-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

I've had an entire day to think about dinner, and this is what I end up feeding my children (sans the fries and the salad). At least I balanced it with organic, whole-wheat shells & cheese. Unfortunately, the shells looked like something the dog wouldn't even touch. Sigh.

When will someone show up at my door asking me to turn in my mom license?

Split ends

2005-01-12T16:16:00.000-05:00

There's nothing quite like the way a good haircut makes you feel. Bored with my static look, I had been growing my hair for the past 6 months in hopes of trying a new do. I had it cut into a more modern style with lots of long layers in November. After suffering through the last 8 weeks - I hated seeing myself in the mirror, which is a problem because the one in our bathroom covers half of one wall - I decided enough was enough. My hair is thick and straight, and happens to love a bobbed, chin-length cut. I'm happy to say "the hair" is back!

Some of you know that I accepted a job at a new branch of the library back in Dec. I received a call today that my paperwork has been processed and they want me to start Tuesday. That sound you heard was my inner procrastinator having a major breakdown. I thought I'd have until the beginning of February. This is NOT enough time to switch gears from full-time SAHM status to actually working outside the home.

I've spent 5 hours a day, Monday through Friday, for the last 3 years without kids underfoot. My house should be featured in Better Homes & Gardens with all the time I've had on my hands to get this place organized from A-Z. What the hell was I doing?? Oh yeah... procrastinating, with a little laundry and cooking thrown in for fun.

Help me.

And now, for your moment of Zen

2005-01-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

My apologies to The Jon Stewart Show

This is Sheba. She's a lovable, 2 year-old Heinz 57 that we adopted from the SPCA in August '04. My favorite thing about her? Those litte tan "commas" above her eyes. The girl knows how to relax.

Zissou, Part Deux

2005-01-11T10:39:00.000-05:00

After thinking about this again while vacuuming, I realized that there were two elements of the movie I enjoyed. The music of Seu Jorge, and Willem Dafoe's character, Klaus.

I still wish I'd seen The Incredibles.

Do You Zissou?

2005-01-11T09:15:00.000-05:00

We were able to see The Life Aquatic last night while the boys were at another movie.

The only thing I have to say...

I envied my sons being able to see The Incredibles for a 3rd time.

Spellbound

2005-01-10T10:01:00.000-05:00

I'm a spelling freak.

The mere mention of the weekly spelling test in school would elicit groans from most of the class, but I actually looked forward to it. It was another chance to prove my mastery over those combinations of letters that form our language. It was what led me to be a proof-reader at the local paper years ago. My father's favorite subject was spelling, so I've concluded that it must be genetic.

DH's family members are no slouches, either. His mom was a teacher and his younger brother was a participant in the National Spelling Bee in D.C. It's no surprise to me that our boys are great spellers. They're just carrying the torch.

E. recently placed 2nd in his middle school spelling bee. From what I can gather, it was a rather tense word battle that went on between him and the winner for a good 15 minutes after the others had been disqualified. The word that tripped him up? Decaffeinated.

The irony here is that just about every food and beverage item in our house is "decaffeinated".

Hormones (and for once, they're not mine)

2005-01-09T13:17:00.000-05:00

I was always under the assumption that girls were harder to raise because, you know, at a certain age those things called hormones kick in. I've secretly cheered the fact that I have two boys when I've heard friends relate their challenges regarding puberty with their soon-to-be women. Just remembering how I terrorized my poor parents makes me shudder. I'd never have to deal with that.

I could plead ignorance here. I was an only child. So you can't fault me for not knowing that hormones affect male bodies, too. Right? I mean, by the time I really paid any attention to the developing men in my life, I was almost through high school.

Why didn't my husband warn me? My son could charge admission for the emotional roller coaster he's had me on and he'd be making quite a bit of extra cash. I know the ride will end eventually, but I'm starting to get queasy. Where are the kiddie rides when you need them?

What the hey...

2005-01-09T13:14:00.000-05:00

So. Here it is. My first foray into the blogging world.

Don't expect much and you won't be disappointed. I promise.