Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I have become my parents

That's a scary-looking sentence up there.

As much as I've railed against it, it's happening. I can see it clearly in my recent "exchanges" with the teen-ager.

Son - "Why am I always the one who has to put away the dishes? It's always me! You just don't want to do them."
Me - "Because your dad & I are not the only ones in this house who eat off of them and get them dirty. I'm sure your friends have chores, too."
S - "No! I'm the only one who has to do freakin' (my patience hits the wall here) chores! I can't wait to move out!" (slams cabinet doors for added dramatic effect)
M - (voice rising higher) "Oh yeah, we'll I'd like to see how far you'd get if someone wasn't around to do your dishes."
S - "Whatever... this sucks!"
M - "It sucks? Well here, let me get your sleeping bag and thing of go-gurt and off ya' go."
S - mumbles something incoherent.
M - (sounding shrewish) "What?? What did you say? I'm sorry that it takes 5 minutes out of your precious day of video gaming to do dishes. I wouldn't want you to break a sweat or anything." Mind you, he only gets 30 min. a day of gaming. (that's MY dramatic comeback)

And on it goes, for another 10 minutes. I'm exhausted at the end, and tossing and turning about it before I go to sleep at night.

Why. Why am I trying to argue with a 13 year old? Like my mom always said, it's like arguing with a brick wall. I understand that now, but don't understand why I'm perpetuating the process. I can't seem to find a better way to deal with it. And books on the subject, once they're past the Dr. Sears years, are sorely lacking. They all seem to point to the fact that I should've started better communication about, oh, the time of birth. Well, it's a little late for that now. So what am I going to do?

I feel like it's only going to get worse, and I'm scared.

4 Comments:

At 9:22 AM, Blogger Echo said...

Remember my teenaged years as well as my brothers', it DOES get worse. BUT! It gets better! lol! I don't have any advice beyond stocking up on the alcohol, but we all know when they're in they're 20s they'll turn back into the boys that worship the ground you walk on. ;)

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Amber said...

If he keeps up the bitching I'd add chores, and take away privleges.

My parents failed miserably at raising teenagers (well, they were getting a divorce too..) But I've thought alot about what I'd do differently than they did.

Echo is so right though - It gets WAY worse, then much better after they move out. lol.

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

The only thing I dread more than potty training is teenage training ;)

 
At 2:01 AM, Blogger shell said...

hehehehe I think you should just get a made and avoid all this ... life is too short for you and your kid to be fighting over such small matters... but that's just me.
and just for the record, I have never once in my entire life helped my mom with absolutely ANYTHING around the house. she said my job was to study and only that, and I was a straight A student. and now that I've got my own place, I do all those things and I enjoy it.
Yes I'm taking you kid's side! LOL, sorry! I'll shut up in about a second.

 

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