My joy in life is missing.

It disappeared when I wasn't looking. Or maybe I was looking too hard.

A tennis game today, turned into "how to berate yourself silently for hitting sucky returns". It was all too clear at that point that "joy" was gone. To drive the point home with a hammer, the other couple next to us were playing, laughing at miscues and having a good time. Which, in turn, made me berate myself even more silently.

Where have I lost the joy? The fun? I don't like myself very much (can you tell?) these days.