Saturday, April 02, 2005


My brain is ready to explode.

I don't enjoy making decisions, and when I've got more than one or two on my plate, I start to panic and shut down. Seriously, how can choosing a carpet color and style make me want to stick my head in the sand? Should I turn down the better-paying library assistant job because of the weird hours? Where do we stay while we're on vacation this year? What's for dinner? It all makes me want to stick my fingers in my ears and go "Lalalalalalalalalala. Can't hear you!"

So, I find myself staring at the television and still in my pajamas rather than making these decisions. Is it a passive-aggressive thing? Am I depressed? My poor husband doesn't seem to know what to do with me, and neither do I. I know that I should just step up and decide, still the what-ifs and buts drown out my reason. This is not a good way to go through life.